I have a big hole in my life. Even with my lovely family supporting me, I feel very alone without my twin sister. I still cannot believe Ceri has gone. Even though it was something we were always anticipating, nothing prepares you for it in the end.
When Ceri discovered she had pancreatic cancer, a week after giving birth to her second son Leo, we were all devastated. We couldn’t believe it.
I had just found out that I was pregnant, after years of trying, and was away with my husband and friends when we heard the news. It just didn’t feel real, and there were so many ups and downs, truly happy moments filled with so many sad ones.
Ceri went through chemo, radiotherapy and surgery and twice received the all-clear. The thing with cancer is that you are so happy when it is ‘cleared’, but in the back of your mind, you are still waiting for the bad news, especially with Ceri’s type of cancer. We were gutted when it came back for the third time. We couldn’t believe it.
My sister contacted Jigsaw (South East) when she learned her cancer had spread and that treatment was now essentially about prolonging her life.
Ceri wanted to be sure she had set up enough for the family after her death so that her husband Gary wouldn’t have to navigate that side of it too.
She also knew she needed to get support in place for their sons – Austin and Leo – as they could see, she was poorly and would be witnessing her gradual decline.
Pre-COVID, the boys had a lot of support from Jigsaw and were able to process what was happening a bit more. As a family, they were all able to enjoy several Jigsaw activity days out, meeting other families in the same situation. Despite the pandemic, and since Ceri’s death, Jigsaw’s support has been constant.
With the world, as it is at the moment, we’re all just trying to be there for Austin and Leo as much as possible so that they can get everything they need, once this situation dies down.
In the circumstances, my nephews are doing brilliantly. Kids are so much more resilient than we give them credit for, and Gary is doing a fantastic job. We’re all so proud of him.
From the moment Ceri was diagnosed we knew there wasn’t anything we could do to make the cancer go away, but what we could do was raise money to help causes that had helped to support her, and us. Jigsaw (South East) is our main one now, as it really does impact the boys directly.
Ceri was in battle mode for five years, right until the very end, and we followed her lead. She campaigned tirelessly to raise awareness of pancreatic cancer.
My twin sister Ceridwen Weston died on June 17th 2020, aged 40. She was the best mother, best wife, best daughter, best twinny, best aunty, best friend and will be terribly, terribly missed. We set up an In Memory page to honour her and raised £3485 for Jigsaw (South East). Ceri was always super proud of our fundraising efforts, and she would be super proud and supportive of everything we are doing now.
Ceri was an incredible person, totally selfless; she is my absolute hero. If I can be half the person she was by raising money and helping other people, then I will be happy.
by Kathy Binning
Find out how you can support Jigsaw (South East) child bereavement charity HERE.