My Bereavement Journey: Harrison Beard

It was January 2020, a new year had begun, and 12-year-old Harrison Beard was keen for a slice of independence. His father, esteemed local headteacher Martin Beard, was teaching him how to get the bus to school alone, but when the school day finished everything changed. His older sister arrived to collect him with some terrible news, their dad was seriously ill and had been taken to hospital. Tests revealed that he had a brain tumour and very soon after this diagnosis he sadly died, leaving his family shocked and devastated.

Seeking support

Not only had Harrison’s young life change dramatically, but the world around him was also rapidly changing with the spread of Covid-19. The country was soon in lockdown making it impossible for Harrison to access the in-person support from Jigsaw South East that he really needed. Although online support groups were available, Harrison’s mother Hayley, knew that in-person groups would be most valuable for him. In the intervening months he found strength from the support of his mother, his three siblings and from church.

Once Harrison was able to attend Jigsaw groups in person, he found them very beneficial. He explains ‘It was good to know other people who have been through the same thing, and it helped me to talk more with my mum about what had happened.” During the sessions he learnt more about how to cope with his grief and had the opportunity to express his feelings creatively, writing letters, decorating a keepsake box to fill with treasured memories of his dad.

A new School

Prior to his death, Harrison’s dad had a dream that was about become a reality. To build a school from the ground up, a place where students could thrive. His enthusiasm and passion for education meant that he was widely known and respected in the local community.

Harrison and Hayley made the difficult decision to leave the school his dad had once been the Head Teacher of, so that Harrison could have a fresh start at a new school. This transpired to be a good decision, Hayley explains: “In his previous school, everybody knew him as, the son of the amazing head teacher and he was constantly reminded, so to be able to just break away from that and just be Harrison for a little bit was ultimately best for him”. The new school were sympathetic of the situation and worked collaboratively with Jigsaw South East to ensure that Harrison was well supported within the school setting as well as at home.

Touchingly the school community where Martin had been Head Teacher rallied together to commemorate his life. Although he never saw his dream of building a new school come to fruition, his legacy continues through the ‘Mr Beard, be your best Award’ and the creation of a Memorial Garden, where Harrison and his family planted a Willow tree.

It’s OK to be upset

Now age 16, Harrison acknowledges that acceptance is something that has helped him to move forward with his life and that this comes over time. He shared some thoughts for other young people who may be experiencing the death of a loved one: “I think you should definitely share how you feel with people and accept any help available. There’s a lot of stages of grief, like being angry and being sad, but I think it is good to realise that it’s not always going to be that one way. It’s OK to be upset.”

Jigsaw South East provides information and guidance to help support children and young people facing or coping with the death of a loved one. We support families in Surrey, and nearby areas of East and West Sussex and Kent.

If you would like to know more about the support we provide please visit our pre bereavement or grief support web pages. You can also contact our helpline for families and professionals.

Helpline: 01342 313895 | Monday – Friday | 9.30am – 12.30pm