Supporting Grieving Children: Managing Worry, Anger, Anxiety & Stress

When a child experiences the death of a loved one, their emotions can be overwhelming, confusing and unpredictable. One moment they may be crying, upset or angry, and the next they might be playing and laughing as though nothing has happened.

This doesn’t mean they aren’t grieving. Children simply process grief differently to adults.

This is often described as “puddle jumping.” Unlike adults, who may feel they are caught in a steady river of sadness, children dip in and out of their grief. They might feel intense emotions for a short while, then step back into play as a way of coping. This natural coping mechanism helps them manage overwhelming feelings in smaller bursts.

However, because of this, their moods can be changeable. Grieving children may show signs of:

• Worry and anxiety about their future or safety

• Anger directed at the person who has died or those around them

• Sadness or depression that comes and goes in waves

• Feelings of guilt or shame, wondering if something they did or said played a role

These feelings are normal, but children need safe, creative ways to express them.

Encouraging Children to Express Their Feelings

We encourage children to share all their feelings — both “good” and “bad.” Giving them tools to express themselves can help reduce anxiety, build resilience and strengthen communication between children and the adults who care for them.

Here are some tried and tested activities and strategies that can support grieving children:

1. The Worry Monster Activity

A worry monster (or worry box) can help children release anxious thoughts. Your child can write or draw their worry on paper, then “feed” it to the monster. The worry is kept safe inside until they’re ready to share it with a trusted adult.

You can make a worry monster at home using simple materials like tissue boxes, egg cartons or shoeboxes. For older children, a worry box might be a plain decorated container.

2. The Colour Monster

Inspired by the popular book The Colour Monster, ask your child what colour matches their feelings and how much of that colour they feel. This helps children name and explore emotions in a visual, creative way.

3. Learning Through Films

Movies such as Inside Out provide an easy way to start conversations about emotions. Talking about the characters’ feelings can make it easier for children to explain their own.

4. Physical Expression

Exercise is a great outlet for stress and anger. Encourage activities like:

• Bike rides or nature walks

• Jumping jacks or yoga

• Throwing a pillow or bean bag safely

• Stomping feet to release frustration

5. Creative Outlets

Children often communicate through play and creativity. Journaling, drawing, painting, building with playdough or writing letters can all help them process grief in their own way.

6. Calm and Comfort

• Meditation or mindfulness exercises

• Gentle duvet days when they need rest

• Talking openly about feelings as a family

Recognising the Signs of Grief in Children

Bereaved children and young people may show their emotions in different ways. They might:

• Experience headaches, tummy aches or sleep problems

• Become withdrawn, quiet or lose interest in favourite activities

• Struggle with concentration at school

• Show anger through shouting, hitting or saying hurtful things

• Appear numb or detached at times

These reactions may come in waves, or appear suddenly without warning. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve — every child’s journey is unique.

Supporting Different Emotions

Worry & Anxiety

• Use a worry monster or worry box

• Spend time outdoors in nature

• Practice mindfulness or meditation

• Ensure your child has someone safe to talk to (at school or home)

Anger

• Encourage physical release through sport or exercise

• Let them stomp, jump or punch a pillow

• Support them to write or draw about their anger

• Try using tools like an Anger Map to help them understand their feelings

Sadness

• Model healthy grief by showing your own emotions

• Offer comfort with duvet days or quiet time together

• Create space for sharing memories of the person who has died

Guilt

• Reassure your child that the death was not their fault

• Encourage journaling — writing what they regret or what they wish they could have said

Fear

• Children may worry about their own death or losing another loved one. Reassure them you are doing your best to stay healthy and safe.

• When appropriate, explain in an age-appropriate way how the death occurred.

When a child is grieving, their world may feel as though it has turned upside down. It’s important to remember that all feelings — sadness, anger, worry, guilt, fear or even numbness — are completely normal.

At Jigsaw South East, we know that supporting bereaved children takes patience, creativity and compassion. By giving children safe ways to express their emotions and by reassuring them that they are not alone, we can help them navigate their grief in a healthy way.

If your child or a young person you know is struggling with grief, our team at Jigsaw South East is here to help.

Learn more about our support services for children, young people and families.